It’s always cooler in Japanese, too

In keeping with Disney’s new tradition of releasing trailers that give absolutely no information, the English trailer for this winter’s Big Hero 6 is a boy playing with Stay Puff Marshmallow Man’s friendly little brother.  If you saw Maleficent on opening weekend (you did see Maleficent on opening weekend, didn’t you?) you might have been surprised and confused, a bit enchanted, but no wiser than when Disney released preliminary sketches and character bios a year ago.

John Bender called it – Disney’s such a tease.

Fear not, the Japanese have come to the rescue again with a trailer that — well, it doesn’t trail and it doesn’t tease, but it does tell us a little more how this young boy (I like to think of him as Hiccup’s alter ego) built a giant, walking, marshmallow-monster-thing.  Since I did such a good job last time, I’ll dust off my Japanese skills and tell you everything you need to know about Disney’s next, new, bigger, and totally-not-copying-what-we-did-in-Incredibles hero movie.

This little boy’s parents died because this is a Disney movie and we need angst to motivate people.

For the geeks out there, parents dying is the perfect motivation to build a robot. (everyone wave to the robot)

This robot even dispenses medication, because the Japanese make the best vending machines ever.  (seriously, I love the touch screen ones – they remember what I got last time.) You just select how you’re feeling now and how you’d like to feel instead and it will give you the appropriate dose based on your estimated height, weight, and BMI.  (those touch screen vending machines can detect your age and whether you’re  a male or female and recommend drinks based on what people like you tend to select, by the way.)

However, the lesson of this movie is that you shouldn’t attempt to operate complicated technology or create life forms while suffering from depression.  Not only will you continue to suffer from isolation, but your inventions will probably be total bunks.

Also, this is a reenactment of what Samurai Blue looked like during the Japan-Ivory Coast game.

Instead of trying to make imaginary friends to deal with the loss of your loved ones you should seek psychiatric help.

Hugs are good, too.


 

Sorry, you wanted the real translation, didn’t you?

 

 


This is Hamada Hiro.  His beloved brother died last year.  (sad Hiro)

When Hiro gets ready to take care of his brother’s belongings this year, though….

“Yo, I’m Beymax, protector of Heart and Body.”

“Baymax?”

“Tadashi made me ….How would you describe your condition right now?” (pick one please)

“Bug off.”

Little Hiro’s big brother would never leave him all alone – he left Baymax to take care of him!

“I’m going to take care of you.  This is what Tadashi wanted.”

“Together with Baymax *something something save the world?? I wish people wouldn’t mumble*”

But can  Hiro do it? (spoiler: no)  Hiro didn’t that his brother never finished Baymax’s true mission!

“I’m not sure that this is all necessary to be a hero.”

“Looking good, Baymax! Yeah!”

*fail*

(Hugs are good)


I realize it’s still not a great translation, but you get the idea.  I’ll post this on facebook so my linguistically-adept friends can correct me. (I still think mine is better.)

 

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