Villains should not be allowed to dress their kids.
Disney has released promo pictures for their new TV show Descendants, kicking off in 2015 with a Disney Channel Original movie. These outcast teens attend high school with the kids of their parents’ former nemeses, the good boys and girls who are living the fairy tale ending. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the name of the town is Aurodon, which sounds like a dinosaur, so I hope they dubbed the high school something else. And then, to make everything even more painful, the poor kids are subjected to dress-alike days with the ‘rents. Totally embarrassing.
Featured above are Mal, played by Dove Cameron, sporting her mother’s signature dragon insignia and a painful amount of studs. (You can’t see the boots in this picture, but they’re actually awesome.) Sofia Carson as Evie is in a blue cape that pulls together her Earth-mother-gothy-bitch ensemble. Jay is the only one passing Sartorialist standards in the photo because Booboo Stewart in a sleeveless shirt = Yes. (Little Seth Clearwater grew up!) And Carlos – oh, Carlos. Your mother needs to stop shopping in the White | Black store.
The kids themselves don’t look terribly promising as little evil accolades on their way to taking over the world someday. (Evil! I want Evil!) But I might tune in just to enjoy the parental side of things: Kristin Chenoweth as Maleficent, Hocus Pocus’ Kathy Najimy as Snow White’s Evil Queen, Iranian comedian Maz Jobrani as Jafar, and Somebody-I-Don’t-Know as Cruella. In fact, we can skip the high school thing altogether and just make a show about those four.