It just came to my attention that there is a Frozen merchandise shortage all around the world.
In addition to frozen vegetables and frozen pizzas, Frozen dresses and dolls are becoming staples in every household, but unlike the former, these toys are shockingly scarce. For a month now, parents have been scouring stores and the internet to appease their childrens’ fantasies, and still returning home empty handed. While Disney’s announcement yesterday promises the swift return, there is still a two-item limit for all Frozen-related goods. Except, apparently, Anna’s boots, which are still a-plenty.
Disney was completely unprepared by the stunning success of their latest girlie-movie. It’s not like the last two princess films didn’t do well, after all, they just… you know… didn’t do Idina-Menzel-ice-castle-dancing-snowman well.
In desperation, families have gone to ebay to get the goods. Going prices for an Elsa doll these days are $1,200, and one father spent $500 apiece to buy two dresses, one of which he intends to donate to a leukemia center.
I guess he did that so he could feel less guilty. Because if he really wanted to be charitable, he could have just donated $1,000 to research.
Seriously?!! You people have something wrong with you!!
There was a time when people made their kids costumes if they wanted them that badly. Okay, admittedly, I cannot sew, but I know people who CAN. My mother made an Odette costume for Rose when she was 8 because that princess didn’t have her own store.
So, if you’re utterly in need of a blue frosty dress, call a seamstress. For the same money, the fabric will be much better quality, and it won’t be sewn by people making less than a dollar a day. Or call your mother – you probably ought to have done that first.
Or you can surprise your daughter on her birthday (the lady who paid over a grand for an Elsa barbie supposedly needed it for a Frozen birthday party) with handmade items instead. Tell her that you’re starting a peg doll collection for her. Look at how beautiful these are! Buy a print from DeviantArt. Buy an Olaf iphone case (since I’m sure your kid has a smartphone, too). Buy her an My Little Pony dressed like Anna! (This one’s kind of expensive, but sure is cute.) Buy a damn pillowcase if you want.
Your kid will not die.
Buy local. Buy handmade. Save the earth. Stop being stupid.