Helga Sinclair, Villain Extraordinaire

Poor Helga never gets invited to any parties.  The princesses don’t want her and the villains overlook her.  I think it’s time that someone take a moment to appreciate her badass contribution to Disney.

First, she shows up in this sexy fur+LBD combo, not because she needs to, not because she’s hot for Milo, but just because she wants to. It seems her evening recreation was interrupted by this errand, but she probably went right back to the jazz and wine bar after she dropped off the cargo.

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Also, this iconic coat.  The woman’s a fashion diva.

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Help! We’re stuck in a dark canyon with no sense of direction!  Helga’s solution: flare gun.

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Can you believe it?  My partner just tossed me overboard!  Helga’s solution: flare gun.

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This lecture is boring.  Helga’s solution: twirl gun.  This is sort of her default response to everything.

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She walks onto the bridge and tells the sailors what to do.  Helga doesn’t have to prove that she’s a competent leader and doesn’t have to make up for being a woman.  She says jump and they leap 10 feet.  She says fire and they blast that cannon.  She says drive, and they haul tooshie.  Because she’s awesome.  (See also previous three statements.)

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She knows the importance of greens.  Listen to the smart lady, Cookie.

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In case you’ve forgotten the ending, Helga ends up sort of saving our hero’s life.  She helps the good guys not out of a change of heart, but because Rourk backstabbed her.  She may be going down, but she is not leaving the silver screen without a fight.  Basically Helga Sinclair is the blonde, American, corrupt Disney version of Lara Croft.

Helga, you’re a selfish, money-loving, violent girl, but we love you.

 

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