Yesterday, I explained how Frozen: the Musical turned into a tedious and unfocused story, despite potentially delightful characters and winter-wonderland beauty. I’m suspicious of my own judgment over the movie because everyone else seems to have loved it. My frustration yesterday may have been brought about by a case of the girl’s ever-lovin, once-a-monthin blues.
Don’t worry, Disney has an answer for everything!
In this case, the solution comes in the form of a 1946 educational video produced by Disney and Kotex called “The Story of Menstruation.”
This is perfectly reasonable because men and talking mice are known experts on the subject. I didn’t believe it at first, either, but you can watch the 10-minute biology and gender role lesson at OpenCulture.
The film tries to be very upfront and informative, which is nice considering it’s riddled with fallacies. When I’m on my period, I do not go horse-back riding and I most certainly do not dance with gingers unless they answer to “Weasley.” Nevertheless, the melodious voiceover assures me that my pituitary gland makes each girl different, some tall, some short, some heavy, some slight. So different is totally normal, even if the rest of Disney canon wants to convince me otherwise. I am also reassured that normal progression for young girls is Step 1: blocks Step 2: dolls Step 3: books, which agrees with my perceived reality.
Therefore, I am inclined to believe the video when it tells me that my cycle will adjust to a regular pattern, though it’s been more than one year or so, as promised. And, I will unquestioningly accept the diagnosis that menstrual pains are really just twinges or a touch of nerves. I shouldn’t be dramatic about the debilitating pain, and I shouldn’t let it get me down. After all, good posture helps, so when I’d rather curl up in a fetal ball, I should stand tall and smile and clean.
Oh, I’m sorry, honey, did you plan on sitting in this chair I’m dusting…OOPS!
The odd thing is that no one bothered to show this video to actual Disney princesses, who suffer from what the video calls “not enough pep” and “feeling sorry for yourself.”
Listen to the girl in the mirror who says crying gets you nowhere.
Imagine how these iconic scenes might have been different, if these girls had access to Midol.
- “My step-mom won’t give me a new dress for a party. Maybe I should stop being passive aggressive and go to family counseling with her.”
- “My father thinks it’s too dangerous for me to join the army. But if I sit down and explain how it’ll help pay for college, he might reconsider.”
- “I’m trapped in a castle with enchanted items who take care of my every need and a wardrobe full of pretty dresses. Sweet!”
- “White men are trying to destroy my people. Imma break up with John and get rid of those a******s.”
- “My guardians think that meeting my long-estranged parents is more important than a date with a guy I met this afternoon. They’re probably right.”
- “My boyfriend was just executed. He was lying to me, anyways, so good riddance.”
- “My step-mom hired an assassin to cut out my heart. Look, cute animals!”
- “My dad threw away my whole boy-idol-collection to teach me a lesson about obeying rules. I should NOT make a deal with a sea witch to prove I’m right.”