Amuck Amuck Amuck

HocusPocus

We all know that Hocus Pocus is the 2nd best Halloween movie for all ages (even adult men will put down their horror films for Sarah Jessica Parker’s yabos)

But, have you ever noticed…

  • When the sisters emerge from the kiln, Winny is repeating all the new french she’s learned from the ALM records on loudspeaker.
  • The gorgeous house that the Dennisens move into has a lovely widow’s watch on it – that is blown away by the witches!
  • The satanic book’s animatronics, etc. looks more realistic than many family film CGI stuff today.
  • Speaking of Satan, he’s played uncredited by Garry Marshall, who always cameos in his own films…even though he was not part of the crew this time.
  • And Penny Marshall, his sister, plays his wife.  The sisters mistake the rollers in her hair for snakes and call her Medusa.
  • SJP is almost always in motion in the back of scenes, including swinging back and forth on the graveyard gate.
  • Thora Birch is the most bad-ass character of the heroic trio.
  • Kathy Najimy makes that impossible sneer the whole movie.
  • Mary’s hair looks like an actual witch hat.
  • Danny’s bag of candy was so heavy with goodies that she knocks over both sisters.
  • Sarah thinks that Clark Bars candy bars are “fingers of a man named Clark!”
  • Up to the third last line of the movie, the scriptwriters just can’t let go of the virgin joke.
  • Mrs. Dennisen, dressed as Madonna, does the Vogue hand-move.
  • The witches mistake the brick, fenced-in school for “a prison for children.”
  • Max is incredibly brave, giving a girl his phone number in front of the teacher.  But the one line that worked was the worst: “Form a circle of salt to protect from zombies, witches, and old girlfriends.” “What about new boyfriends?”
  • Winny’s feelings were very hurt by Danny’s comment about her ugliness, especially considering that “She doesn’t even know me!”  (And then, she wipes her nose on Sarah’s arm.)
  • Winifred actually turns to stone because she stepped onto hallowed ground.  She blew up because of the dawn.
  • Before she blew up, though, she managed to suck away a few years of Max’s life.  He’ll probably have a heart attack at 57.
  • The three little girls who stole the brooms were able to fly.
  • In addition to lots of “hell” and “damn,” multiple references to boobs, and rauncy SJP jokes, Winnie cries out “Cheese and Crust!” which is a fancy way of saying… just say it out loud and you’ll see.
  • When the witches put a spell on Binx, they chant, “Twist the bones and bend the back / Trim him of his baby fat / Give him fur black as black / Just…like…”  SJP says “this” instead of “that,” suggesting that she’s such a dimwit, she can’t finish the spell right.

Goodnight, Billy.  Be a good zombie.

 

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