OhMyDisney seems to think we have a problem. Mentioning Disney in all of our conversations is not a problem – it’s lateral thinking.
However, some of the things mentioned in that post could, in fact, be detrimental to sanity, friendship, or finances. So to clear the air, here are five things that you can get away with in the movies, but should not attempt in real life, unless you have a good lawyer and a patient friend.
1. Break into song.
Take my advice. Don’t.
2. Learning a language with the Power of Love.
Ariel and Eric. Pocahontas and John Smith. Kida and Milo. Tia and Tony Malone and Earth. Calvin Fuller and King Arthur. Thackery Binx and Modernity. The theory is that you can talk to anyone as long as the need is great enough, whether that person is from across the puddle, across time, or across the universe. Language is no barrier.
This is not true, or I’d be out of a job.
3. A Hail Mary Shot
This never works out in real life. In real life, you end up sacrificing the ball to the other team and losing the game.
Also, Flubber Physics: Tigger’s jumps, Robin Hood’s arrows, and the fortuitous demise of Flotsam and Jetsam.
4. Plot someone’s demise. (Out loud)
She’s got the perfect hair, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect body, and (unbelievably!) the perfectly sweet disposition that makes everyone else love her. Secretly, you want to take scissors to her new manicure, or spill Cherry Dr. Pepper on her cheerleader outfit. But, you are not a villain because villains usually get killed. Keep it inside, but if you simply cannot resist evil, make sure no one’s standing behind you.
I’ve tried feathers. I’ve tried jokes. I’ve tried old beds. I’ve squeezed about 30 fairies dry. I have built aerodynamic space suits. It just can’t be done.